Category Archives: sobriety

Working On It

The few years I have had the privilege to write this blog have been full of the kind of change that any astrologer worth their salt could expect from a person turning 27, then 28, then 29, then 30, then 31.

It has been a time of tremendous change for me, all kinds of uncomfortable transitions and such. Read the rest of this entry

Funny, No One Offered to Make Invitations

I couldn’t understand why people weren’t excited for me.  Read the rest of this entry

Consistency is 4 Out of 5 Times

When I was small there was a farm next door to the house where I spent every other weekend, alternating holidays and one terrifying summer. That farm had aggressive geese, pigs, a large barn where a mishap on a rope swing landed me with a large sliver in my ass, and horses. I remember riding with the kids over there, always bareback because the tack was too much for us to wrestle at 7 years old. Read the rest of this entry

Bootlegged

Wow! I was remembering that as a one person country band I had cut a demo in my favorite dilapidated dancehall in deep west Olympia several years ago. I remember that at the time it ended up somewhere on the internet so today I searched for my band, “One Disaster Short of a Country Song” and I did not find the demo but I did find a bootleg I had no idea existed… Read the rest of this entry

The Day After I Turned 25

 

 

I wrote this on the evening of March 20th four years ago when I got off work at Quality Burrito in downtown Olympia. It’s rare because a line in it tells me what day it was written and almost none of my writing is dated. When I find the few notebooks that have survived, they could be from anytime and often they were from many. I would write a few pages in a book then leave it in an attic or basement or tent, travel around several states and then, if I happened to come across it again, pick it up and repeat. Read the rest of this entry

BFF

1992

 

Her name was Leslie. We were catholic schoolgirls. We hung out every moment we could. We stood by each other when we wore reindeer sweaters in the church choir. We stood in line together before for her first and my only confession. Read the rest of this entry

I Still See

I have lived inside for more than five years. In rooms that are four walls or at least some kind of four wall concept, most with doors that shut. These rooms are in houses with bathrooms that have big ole water wasting flush toilets where I do the vast majority of my business. There are ceilings on these houses that keep out rain for the most part. There are mattresses in my rooms, now there is even a bedframe, a head and a footboard. There are rooms with stoves and working refrigerators and when we say we are out of food we are not counting the pantry full of the food bank cans we prefer the least. Read the rest of this entry

Happy Birthday! Here is the whole novel!!!!

Hello and happy birthday, I am 29 years old today and would like to give each of you and your grown up friends a copy of this novel I wrote in November.Since I don’t know a lot of you yet and in one hour it won’t be a birthday present anymore, I am settling with giving you a link. Read the rest of this entry

Pure Country

I had a funny little kids guitar. It was only a little kids guitar in this culture where we give little kids a lot of crap that doesn’t work very well. Other places kids get beautiful instruments, well built but tinnier.

Anyways I had a funny little guitar with thick plastic strings that could not have held a tune if it were a bucket covered in super glue. Read the rest of this entry

Terrapin the Turtle

I am 28 years old and I sleep with a stuffed animal. Fortunately, I don’t have trouble sleeping without him, like if I am sleeping elsewhere or if there is an actual four year old in the house that needs him. I don’t know if he is restless when I am away, we have never talked about it.
Read the rest of this entry

VapoRub

The feeling of being loved or not being loved is not circumstantial.

I can feel alone anywhere in the world, in any crowd, in any set of eyes or arms.

Most of the love that has been here for me in my life has not been translatable. I haven’t received it, haven’t felt it or believed in it. I am having specific kinds of memories lately, sudden flashes of times when people have been showing me they loved me and I have missed the ball completely.
Read the rest of this entry

The Only Difference Between a Poet and a Bum is Something to Write With and On.

For those who are not familiar with the phrase ‘flying a sign’ it is a term used for making money by displaying yourself prominently with a cardboard sign expressing your need. They can be simple like ‘HUNGRY ANYTHING HELPS’ or more intricate like ‘FAMILY KIDNAPPED BY ALIENS SPARE CHANGE FOR ROCKET FUEL’. Read the rest of this entry

Things I Have Never Done Sober (or great reasons for me to stay that way):

Things I Have Never Done Sober:

  • Driven a bus
  • Fucked someone else’s spouse
  • Wondered where I was and found out I was in Georgia
  • Slept in a mud puddle
  • Had people put money in my hat so that I would stop pretending to play guitar
  • Lost my pants
  • Chased someone I loved out of my town
  • Been in a high speed chase
  • Been strip searched by border patrol
  • Drove a three quarter ton van the wrong way down a one way
  • Played how many punks can you fit in a bath tub
  • Sustained a concussion
  • Thought stars were space ships because I forgot the Earth rotates
  • Been shot at by minute men
  • Had a crowd cry at my supposed comedy routine
  • Been knocked out
  • Been choked out
  • Forgotten someones name in the time it took to sleep with them
  • Microwaved a frozen beer
  • Drank a microwaved aluminum can of previously frozen beer
  • Been in a van where a dog was being jerked off by a man
  • Made corn dogs
  • Gotten Engaged
  • Had a grandparent die
  • Puked in someone else’s mouth
  • Eaten a light bulb
  • Been Married
  • Set my own head on fire
  • Believed that scabies could be cured by good thoughts
  • Fallen in a hole any taller than me
  • Meditated with a bag of top ramen
  • Peed the pants of another

What have you never done sober?

 

NOTE: After a nice close friend saw this post originally she reminded me of two stories  (someday you may read them) and as a result of this reminder I have had to delete peeing my pants and parking related accidents from the ‘ never done sober list’ Thank You.

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