As a child I was destined to be a rodeo clown. How else would I use all of my beloved handkerchiefs? plus extra large shoes.

Or I would be a drag racer because how else could I do the least damage to other people while still going as fast as I knew I had too? plus colorful helmets.

Or a marine biologist because everyone would have to know how smart I was and because whales.

Or I would be in Winnie the Pooh because they needed a girl besides Kanga and because stick races.

Or I would be Peter Pan because parents were useless in my society and because Gay.

Bandit, Coast Guard, Merchant Marine, Doctor, Vetrinarian, Orphan, Arctic Explorer, Movie Star, Pop Singer, Girlfriend of every member of Guns and Roses and the third rapper in Kris Kross, Talk Show Host, World Traveler, Ender of World Hunger, Preist, Nun, Monk, Plumber, Carpenter, Farmer, Manatee, Elephant, Bearded Lady, Tattoo Artist, Anyone at all from an earlier classier era, Professional Boxer, Mother of 12….

But this…. This is better.