Things I Have Never Done Sober (or great reasons for me to stay that way):
Posted by iknowyouknowmyheart
Things I Have Never Done Sober:
- Driven a bus
- Fucked someone else’s spouse
- Wondered where I was and found out I was in Georgia
- Slept in a mud puddle
- Had people put money in my hat so that I would stop pretending to play guitar
- Lost my pants
- Chased someone I loved out of my town
- Been in a high speed chase
- Been strip searched by border patrol
- Drove a three quarter ton van the wrong way down a one way
- Played how many punks can you fit in a bath tub
- Sustained a concussion
- Thought stars were space ships because I forgot the Earth rotates
- Been shot at by minute men
- Had a crowd cry at my supposed comedy routine
- Been knocked out
- Been choked out
- Forgotten someones name in the time it took to sleep with them
- Microwaved a frozen beer
- Drank a microwaved aluminum can of previously frozen beer
- Been in a van where a dog was being jerked off by a man
- Made corn dogs
- Gotten Engaged
- Had a grandparent die
- Puked in someone else’s mouth
- Eaten a light bulb
- Been Married
- Set my own head on fire
- Believed that scabies could be cured by good thoughts
- Fallen in a hole any taller than me
- Meditated with a bag of top ramen
- Peed the pants of another
What have you never done sober?
NOTE: After a nice close friend saw this post originally she reminded me of two stories (someday you may read them) and as a result of this reminder I have had to delete peeing my pants and parking related accidents from the ‘ never done sober list’ Thank You.
About iknowyouknowmyheart
Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No Matter. Try Again, Fail Again, Fail Better -Beckett Here I am right over there, running into opportunities to stop running and hoping they keep my scent until my prayers are answered and I am brave enough to slow down.Posted on May 3, 2013, in adolescence, luck, sobriety, true stories. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.
Leave a comment
Comments 0